Orca Wrote a Book

Orca wrote a book, or at least an essay for one.  Or had Robin Olsen write it for her with her elbows.

I got a link from a reader who may or may not have gotten it from the inbred Manson site, to give due credit.

The book is called SHARON TATE: Recollection.

In it will be such recollections as-

- Cartwheeling nude on Sharon's front lawn for the cameras
- Hanging out and laughing with the major drug dealer who was the first suspect in her sister's murder
- Asking Sharon if the baby is a girl can she please name it Debra in her honor
- Yelling at her dad when he finds compromising pictures of her in a drawer that after he's dead he'll   be sorry, she'll make sure he never finds eternal peace
- Telling Jay the stylist she hears he gives good head
- Asking Roman if he will marry her when he is done with her sister
- Wondering at the funeral why Sharon always gets all the attention
- Another new version of how she learned about the murders, this time from a Ouija Board
- Complaining that she didn't get to go to the house on August 9, even if she wasn't invited

Okay I keed, I keed. 

Although I fucking promise you there will be no mention of the fact that she was disinherited by her father and doesn't own ANY PART of her sister's estate.

The book description indicates "And the book is filled with hundreds of rare and unpublished photos of Sharon Tate taken by the likes of Milton Greene, Richard Avedon, Bert Stern, Norman Parkinson, Philippe Halsman, John Engstead, and more."  Hundreds of photos means hundreds of legal clearances.  That's expensive and time consuming and way above the pay grade of a forcibly retired mail lady.  I hope all those photos get cleared.  After all the trouble she caused Statman's book you really wouldn't want to see her get trouble in return.  Of course you wouldn't.

Now, the publisher is called RUNNING PRESS.  If you go to their website there is no listing of this exciting and upcoming book.  Odd. 

But there is a book subtitled- Your Guide to Looking Fabulous at Any Age

Maybe they can send Orca a comp copy?

Jive Talking

Can You Tell the Difference Between Charles Manson's Biography and the Bee Gees'?

By Alan Scherstuhl Thu., Jul. 25 2013 at 9:00 AM

They all got dressed up for picture day!

Plump new biographies of two different charismatic cult leaders whose Beatles obsessions combined to kill the '60s dead: murderin' Family man Charles Manson, and falsettoin' man-family the Bee Gees! Unfortunately, the dust jackets got mixed up, and now we can't tell which book is which. Can you? Below are thirteen actual passages pulled from David N. Meyer's The Bee Gees: The Biography or Jeff Gunn's Manson: The Life and Times of Charles Manson. Can you tell which is which?
See also: 30 Facts About Ke$ha Gleaned From Her New Book My Crazy Beautiful Life
To get you started, here's a sample of the differences between the books:

When asked what the lyrics to "More Than a Woman" were about, Robin said, in one of his classic retorts, "Three tits, two vaginas." (The Bee Gees: The Biography)

Charlie's most notorious outburst aired in 1988, when he snarled to TV interviewer Geraldo Rivera that "I'm going to chop up some more of you motherfuckers .... I'm going to pile you up to the sky." (Manson: The Life and Times of Charles Manson)

Got it? Then let's go!
Note: Sometimes, I've removed a proper name, just to make it more challenging. And at other times I've added a proper noun, in brackets, to make these funnier.

1. The bottom line, the only factor that ultimately mattered, was whether someone could sell enough records or not. Genius on the artist's part, whether genuine or self-perceived, didn't matter a damn.

2. Parts for dune buggy renovations were expensive.

3. While such behavior used to be regarded as pathological, current thinking suggests that the urge to light things up and burn them down is a natural aspect of childhood development. In other children, however, this urge is often subject to parental restraint.

4. Time passes differently when one is married to a Druid priestess.

5. He expected that the song would be recorded by the Beach Boys exactly as he had written it, or at least that his lyrics would remain intact. [Dennis] Wilson let him believe it.

6. ____ explained that the Beatles were notifying the world of what was about to happen--a terrible race war where blacks slaughtered most whites, and the only survivors would take refuge in a bottomless desert pit.

7. "Kids don't know the Beatles' Sgt. Pepper," _____ told Playboy, though it might have been the speed doing the talking. "And when those who do see our film and hear us doing it, that will be the version they relate to and remember. you see, there is no such thing as the Beatles. They don't exist as a band and never performed Sgt. Pepper live."

8. [He] ... moved into an eighty-foot houseboat that had belonged to a recently deceased Miami drug lord. It featured a round bed with a mirrored ceiling overhead. The former owner had been shot to death in that mirrored room, and there was a grand piano in the main lounge.

9. Was his shaky self-worth diminished further when he--a talented, charismatic amateur--came face to face with genius and the methods genius demands?

10. The constant danger for gurus is that they must keep producing new wonders for their followers. They can't let the act get stale or seem to be wrong about something, or, worst of all, to fail publicly.

11. But no matter how civilized she pretends to be, it's clear that if you ever got [Victoria] Principal into the backseat after a game, she would learn you a thing or two.

12. If word spread that Doris Day was broke, producers would offer her lowball salaries on the belief that she'd have to take them because she desperately needed the money. Worse, her public image was that of a sunny-spirited good girl; fans, the ones who bought the movie tickets and the records, might lose interest when they learned her image wasn't all that accurate.

13. In cultures where cannibalism carries religious or spiritual overtones--as opposed to its occasional appearance when folks just get really, really hungry--the act of consuming your dead enemy or beloved grandpa supposedly transfers to the the diner the power, soul, and positive attributes of the eaten."

The answers are after this spoiler space, brought to you by Dynamite magazine.

The actual last line of the cover story in that issue: "So who's the real winner? You are--the listeners."


--

Answers:
1.

The bottom line, the only factor that ultimately mattered, was whether someone could sell enough records or not. Genius on the artist's part, whether genuine or self-perceived, didn't matter a damn.

Biography: Manson: The Life and Times of Charles Manson
2.

Parts for dune buggy renovations were expensive.

Biography: Manson: The Life and Times of Charles Manson
3.

While such behavior used to be regarded as pathological, current thinking suggests that the urge to light things up and burn them down is a natural aspect of childhood development. In other children, however, this urge is often subject to parental restraint.

Biography: The Bee Gees: The Biography
4.

Time passes differently when one is married to a Druid priestess.

Biography: The Bee Gees: The Biography
5.

He expected that the song would be recorded by the Beach Boys exactly as he had written it, or at least that his lyrics would remain intact. [Dennis] Wilson let him believe it.

Biography: Manson: The Life and Times of Charles Manson
6.

____ explained that the Beatles were notifying the world of what was about to happen--a terrible race war where blacks slaughtered most whites, and the only survivors would take refuge in a bottomless desert pit.

Biography: Manson: The Life and Times of Charles Manson
7.

"Kids don't know the Beatles' Sgt. Pepper," _____ told Playboy, though it might have been the speed doing the talking. "And when those who do see our film and hear us doing it, that will be the version they relate to and remember. you see, there is no such thing as the Beatles. They don't exist as a band and never performed Sgt. Pepper live."

Biography: The Bee Gees: The Biography
8.

[He] ... moved into an eighty-foot houseboat that had belonged to a recently deceased Miami drug lord. It featured a round bed with a mirrored ceiling overhead. The former owner had been shot to death in that mirrored room, and there was a grand piano in the main lounge.

Biography: The Bee Gees: The Biography
9.

Was his shaky self-worth diminished further when he--a talented, charismatic amateur--came face to face with genius and the methods genius demands?

Biography: The Bee Gees: The Biography
10.

The constant danger for gurus is that they must keep producing new wonders for their followers. They can't let the act get stale or seem to be wrong about something, or, worst of all, to fail publicly.

Biography: Manson: The Life and Times of Charles Manson
11.

But no matter how civilized she pretends to be, it's clear that if you ever got [Victoria] Principal into the backseat after a game, she would learn you a thing or two.

Biography: The Bee Gees: The Biography
12.

If word spread that Doris Day was broke, producers would offer her lowball salaries on the belief that she'd have to take them because she desperately needed the money. Worse, her public image was that of a sunny-spirited good girl; fans, the ones who bought the movie tickets and the records, might lose interest when they learned her image wasn't all that accurate.

Biography: Manson: The Life and Times of Charles Manson
13.

In cultures where cannibalism carries religious or spiritual overtones--as opposed to its occasional appearance when folks just get really, really hungry--the act of consuming your dead enemy or beloved grandpa supposedly transfers to the the diner the power, soul, and positive attributes of the eaten."

Biography: The Bee Gees: The Biography

MANSON by Jeff Guinn ( A Book Report)

Dear Class,

My friend Amanda provided me with the galleys of MANSON: The Life and Times of Charles Manson by Jeff Guinn.  It is the latest book on the subject, and will require me to get another shelf to put it on.  I wouldn't mind that if it were worth it, but sadly it is not.

I suppose I should explain why the book utterly fails.  It fails because from the cover and the title and the introductory letter that came with it the book is supposed to be about Charlie- how a five foot two inch loser became the most dangerous man in America.  It is supposed to be Charlie's biography- that is the clear intent.  Except, not so much.

For five Chapters we get some of that.  Poor Charlie in school, in reform school, in prison.  Poor Charlie and his spousal abuse.  Poor Charlie the fucking idiot.  And then

on Page 77 Gunn commences literally four hundred pages of just rewriting.  He takes the BUG novel, the Sandy book, the Sanders book and he shakes it all up and says, "Yummy, you try it."

Any reader of this blog will find nothing new and interesting in the book.  I am overlooking the many typos and outright errors (Linda took the stand and lied to free Charlie?) because I assume the final hardcover will fix them.   And I am hoping that maybe the final book will have some nice pictures.  The back cover has a Charlie wedding photo that no one has seen before.

But ultimately all this is is a regurgitation of what we have seen before.  Now you may ask, "What do you expect from a book at this point".  And if you have to ask that, don't write the book.

This thing ships next week from Amazon, and will be in the remainder bins in six months.

If Tom O'Neill publishes his twelve year in the making book maybe he can find some original information.

In the meantime, there's nothing here.

Sincerely,

Col

FORTY FOUR YEARS IS A LIFETIME AGO

On this day two years ago The Col received some awful news.  It indicated a battle ahead, a battle that would be hard and fraught with peril.  Now, after much effort and stress. that battle appears won.  Also on this day forty four years ago five persons, the "Beautiful People" were slaughtered by some drugged out losers.  We continue to search for the reason why this happened.

It is almost unbelievable that the short, ex-con nothing that was convicted of these murders without being present at them is still with us, still in jail.  Manson has done more time than anyone can imagine.  He's not sorry for what happened, and revels in the notoriety.

I don't think any of the killers expected society to change the way it did.  Hell, even the mailman stalking prosecutor expected most of the killers released two decades ago.  The true believers fall by the wayside.  Sandy doesn't have much to say these days. Squeaky hasn't given a single interview.

By some miracle of fate, the crimes aren't called the "Tex Watson Slayings" like they should be.  Tex is still in prison, still trying to convince people he's sorry and talking to Jesus.  Sadie has gone off to her resting place, having been told by Tex's God "Look, Bitch I got no mercy for you."  Katie has accepted her internment.  Leslie sits perplexed, believing that she should have been out long ago.

Bobby and Bruce must be the most frustrated.  By every single fiber of the law they should have been out and about ages ago.  It must be so insanely upsetting to realize they never will be.

Today is August 9, 2013.  Somewhere Voytek's family, Sebring's relatives, even Sharon's sister, somewhere cutting through the circus that this all became and to a large extent remains, somewhere they sit and weep this day, if only for a second, for the horrible deaths, for what was and what should have been.

There have been far worse killings since those committed by Tex Watson and his girl friends.  Hell, there have been far worse killings in the world since last week.  But there has never been a perfect storm of famous people slaughtered unexpectedly in their own homes by killers who weren't even sure why they were doing it, coupled with a narcissistic prosecutor willing to invent a tapestry of fictional motives to inflate his own legend.

We continue to seek the truth behind these murders.  It is, as the TV Show used to say, out there.

Meanwhile we reflect today on what actually happened and the loss.  Would the Abigail Folger foundation be the United States' number one charitable institution?  Would Voytek be a famous filmmaker, helped by his pal Roman?  How many children would Sharon have raised?  Would we all be going off to Sebring's national chain of Stylists for men?

Today is August 9.  If you are a true student of the case like I know you are, take 30 seconds and reflect on what that moment must have been like, when four home invaders showed up at Cielo to kill the occupants without mercy.  Then hug someone you love.  And have a nice day.