Tuesday, May 01, 2007
Reality TV- It's really quite simple
I was walking with my supermodel wife, discussing our most recent call with Bobby (we have not spoken since early 2006 for various reasons) and we were talking about how it was a year and a half till his next hearing and how he had all these great plans to finally gain his release and shit.
When it hit me.
The perfect plan to MAKE SURE that he gets released. I know that nothing is for sure, but listen to the plan and tell me this isn't freaking brilliant.
Only, when I thought about it, I realized Bobby wouldn't listen. He knows everything man. He'd make a mess of things even though he deserves freedom in the Col's opinion.
Then we thought- LESLIE. While we think she deserves it less than Bobby because of playing the BLAME CHARLIE game, this plan would work for her just as well, if not better.
Go with me here. Follow the steps.
1- Contact Court TV or an associated producer that works with them.
2- Pitch them a reality show- 6 parts- a special of sorts
3- Come up with a catchy name. I like RELEASING THE DEVIL.
4- Get Leslie's prison to cooperate. Promise them new satellite tv or something to motivate them.
Hour one/Episode One- Introduce the old Leslie for the first half. Give the whole gruesome backstory. Show footage from then and through the years. Let Bug come on and slam her as unfit and shit. Take Kay out of mothballs. Then in part two, bring her out. Leslie today. Old. Ugly. Over. Let her talk about how sorry she is. At the close of the episode have Dad or someone show up. Leslies cries.
Episode Two- Start off with the Smaldinos or whoever wants another five minutes of fame. They can ask who is gonna bring Uncle Leno back. Then show Leslie's life behind bars. Barren. hellish. With voiceovers she can talk about the pain and sorrow she feels. Establish through interviews with EVERYONE who knows Leslie that she is reformed, sorry and no threat to anyone. Indeed she would be an asset. End with Kay ranting about what a danger she is, then cut to Grandma Leslie knitting in her cell.
Episode Three- Children start the show speaking about how much they love Leslie. Nephews, nieces whatever. Leslie reflects on not having her own kids. We see more of Leslie's selfless caring for other inmates. Katie shows up and talks about how she knows she will never get out, but poor Leslie was coerced by Tex to stab a dead lady. Poor Leslie. Leslie wraps up by telling us directly that while she doesn't deserve release she would humbly accept it.
Episode Four- Lots of stock footage as we address the elephant in the room. Charlie. We learn more about him. We see him being psycho in modern times. Leslie talks about Charlie but doesn't blame him (because that is bull crap) . She talks about Bobby, Bruce, Tex. Basically admits that they were all on drugs and shit BUT that was so damn long ago. How long must she pay?
Episode Five- The entire episode is scenes of Leslie today as experts establish that she is reformed, remorseful and not a threat to the community. Nothing negative in here- the Bugs have had their say.
Episode Six- Parole hearing open to the public.....
Okay, in case you haven't seen where this is going....
1- You set it up so that you have sympathy for the poor lost girl from three decades ago.
2- You set it up so she CLEARLY has fulfilled all requirements for parole.
3- You put the board members PUBLICLY on the spot. If they say she isn't sorry or reformed or anything, they will KNOW that the TV show will reveal them as liars.
The law clearly says Leslie should be free. The series will make it impossible not to let her go.
Hey, Monkey Boy Jim- forget about crying to ebay. Produce this show. It will make you money, get huge ratings and get her released.