Sunday, April 06, 2008

Some of the Most Laughable Shit Evah


This really is an excerpt from the Screenplay MANSON GIRLS by Matthew Bright.
It feels like it was written in crayon.

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EXT. BEACH – SHORT TIME LATER

ON CHARLIE – watching Nancy and Sue as they step onto the shore with their boards.

ON NANCY - carrying her surfboard onto the shore and letting it drop to the sand before picking up her towel and drying off.

CHARLIE

Hey, girlie... What’s your name?

Nancy ignores Charlie, slipping on a beach dress as Dede comes up behind him.

DEDE

That’s Nancy, Charlie... Remember, that girl I was

telling you about? And you’re gonna dig her so much.

CHARLIE

I already dig her…

(to Nancy)

Hey, you want to hang out with us today?

Nancy seems reluctant, while Dede stands behind Charlie silently pantomiming like she’s taking a hit of pot – trying to encourage her to come along because this guy has weed.

NANCY

I probably shouldn’t.

SQUEAKY FROMME (19), steps from the Bus and crosses the sand to Charlie.

SQUEAKY

So, we finally meet the famous, Nancy Pitman...

But she looks more like a, “Brenda,” to me...

Don’t you think, Charlie?

CHARLIE

Yeah, she does look like a “Brenda.”

Henceforth, Nancy will now be referred to as “BRENDA.”

ANOTHER ANGLE - Sue appears, carrying her surfboard over her head.

SUE

Hey, Charlie… Hey, Squeaky…

Sue leans her board against the seawall in front of her house, as Charlie takes Brenda’s hand and leads her toward the bus parked at the curb.

INT. THE BLACK BUS – MOMENTS LATER

Brenda, Sue and Dede climb aboard with Squeaky and Charlie following behind.

POV – FIVE GIRLS and several BIG DOGS sit on a carpet inside the bus.

BACK TO SCENE

CHARLIE

Listen up, ladies… This is Brenda… Brenda,

this is Ouish…

OUISH (16), (pronounced “Wheesh”) smiles warmly..

CHARLIE cont.

And that there’s Snake… And that one there

with the baby’s Sadie…

SUSAN ATKINS aka “SADIE”, holding the BABY’S arm up and making him wave.

CHARLIE O.S. cont.

And Squeaky, who you met… She’s sort’a like

everyone’s mom... And Yeller...

SQUEAKY

Welcome to our magic bus, Brenda.

CHARLIE

She don’t know it yet, but my little crystal ball

tells me, she’s gonna be gettin’ real close.

BRENDA

Oh, I am, am I?

CHARLIE

You was lost, Brenda… But now you’re found…

You just didn’t know it ‘cuz you been asleep

your whole life...

Charlie gets behind the wheel as Brenda sits among the Girls, where Squeaky places a string of homemade love beads around her neck and strokes her hair affectionately.

EXT. HIGHWAY – SAME MOMENT

Charlie pulls out onto the Pacific Coast Highway.

INT. BUS – SAME MOMENT

Squeaky produces a small leather pouch and taps a few TABS OF ACID into her hand.

SQUEAKY

Now, Brenda… I need you to close your eyes and

stick out your tongue so I can give you your present.

As Brenda opens her mouth to comply, Squeaky puts a TAB of ACID on her tongue.

SQUEAKY cont.

Okay, now swallow it down like a good little girl.

BRENDA

What is it?

SQUEAKY

It’s God… And nothing’s better for you than God…

Squeaky gives a TAB to Dede who doesn’t need any encouragement. Then she offers one to Sue who refuses, shaking her head to say no.

.

1 comment:

A.C. Fisher Aldag said...

I usually don't mail stuff from this blog to Corcoran... 'cuz some other folks already have it covered... but this entry absolutely HAS to go. OMG! Between glaring factual errors and horribly bad dialogue, ("Henceforth"???? Are you totally sh*tting me?! HAHAHA!) this is going to be a complete and utter suck-fest of a movie.

"Henceforth" ??? SNORT!

P.S. "Brenda McCann" is an Irish Folk Song, for those of you who aren't up on Celtic Musical History.